& everything changes, & nothing is truly lost.

Are you alright?

What happened???

Mmm nothing in particular? And I’m feeling better now. Just… mood swings.

Fuck.

wearyorgasm:

in the morning when you wake,
   you stink of hot self-deprecation,
   forged in the torrid, salty swelter
   beneath the blankets where you sleep. 
and i sing grandiosely 
   of my own tenuous glory.
   i boast of beauty and of kindness
   while from your mirrorface, you shrink.

when the evening comes, you’re soaring
   on these vainglorious, fragile wings,
   and some dark zephyr keeps you airborne
   with whispered words of your grandeur—
all while i deem my self unconscionable,
   unworthy of this world.
   i lie in bed with all my failings,
   let them burrow in my flesh. 

so is it, then, that when we wake
   we know ourselves, untainted
   by the incessancy of the day—
   with you the sinner to my saint, 
or do we daily come to see
   as sleep is wiped from bleary eyes?
   i just don’t know, love—
   who’s the monster:

you or me?

oxytocin-iv:

I have this
  tendency, I
   look up high and
    I question everything;

   “why is the sky blue?”
“why can’t she walk?”
          “why do you feel that way?”

I bombard with
  questions, opinions;
   daggers fired from sharp
     tongues, probably poisoned,
     but I throw too fast to check;
    aggressively pursuing the truth
       in the hope that someday
                  I’ll find it,
                    buried in the head of
                 someone who grew like
               a tree, towards the light-
    I am usually wrong
  but sometimes I find
    out not just about
  others, but about   myself-
                                and that makes it
                                all right?

I thought you should know
that I can still see in the dark,
even without you.

So
I crave your attention.
Fine.
So I look for you
when you’re not there,
so I’m distracted whether or not
you are.
Fine.
So I make up excuses
to talk to you,
so I pester and pry for just one
response, so I
am helpless to prevent this
constant
tug-of-war
in my mind
about you and me.
Fine.
I can handle it.
But only if you can too.